feel: butterfly, happiness will find you part 1
- Jan 7, 2024
- 5 min read
I am going to ride my current wave right now by changing this feel prompt structure a bit. I've been recovering from sickness over the holidays, most likely caused by overworking throughout it. And I haven't fully recovered my voice either, we're getting there.
To honour myself and serve my needs best to where I'm at. This This will be a mixture of a self-reflection and a journal prompt for new years based on Butterfly, Happiness Will Find You. It's challenging for me to try and prompt something from a significant and sensitive topic, so I will just adapt it to be more hopeful while centering it around past artwork, the logo of this project and music that connects me with my best friend.
And then, to expand outwards with a journaling prompt, to ask you what kinds of spaces do you want to love, breathe in and bloom more in? I hope you can take what you need from this today ♡ Thank you for holding a space with me.
In my Butterfly reflection portion, I shared an excerpt that was written on their birthday. That excerpt was also for an accompanying art piece that I had made for my Visual Arts Course in 2016.
I no longer have this art piece, I believe I painted over it and did something else, I think? But yes, for this artwork, I chose to symbolize my grief with tears trickling through the cracks of broken glass, the shattering effect of loss and it also plays homage to the lyric line that I found most impactful, you can find the excerpt in the blog post here.
As I'm looking at it right now, I chose blue because it was their favourite colour and then also symbolized this darkness using purple as well, and almost a navy blue?
In the middle, its a broken heart, but it also references a half a heart bff necklace charm that both my friend and I share. Then, I tried to make a butterfly wing with that dark purple blob on the right hand, and then my best friend's initials are on the left hand side.
Another artwork that I did was a sculpture of a white grand piano, in a box room with sheet music of I believe River Flows In You or Kiss The Rain by Yiruma.
My best friend and I are both pianists, and this sculpture was to honour a fond memory I have of them playing at an event, specifically a baby white grand, and with the same song that I plastered sheet music in the walls for.
I don't actually have a picture of the finished piece, but I do have it prior to putting sheet music on the walls and the piano lid. I honestly think, I tried to express myself in as many ways possible to remember and honour my best friend. I sang, I painted, I scupted, I played pieces, listened to music. So, the heart of this piano sculpture, was to know we are connected by the very memories we share, the little things that we have and do.
If you've never heard any of those songs, I do have my own covers posted on a separate Youtube Channel (this era is an interesting one, limited quality recordings though).
These are 2016-2017 covers, so ahh. Please give grace, but here's River Flows In You and then Kiss The Rain (Recital Version).
So yeah, by all means, enjoy a younger version of me playing piano.
Continuing on, in 2022, I created another art piece, but this time, on a digital art studio thing-ma-bob. I was dabbling a little in digital drawing (to the best of my ability), and I made this piece on their birthday, using an actual photo for reference for the silouhette.
Now the significance of this piece is in its symbolism. You have my best friend in the middle, the flowery path, and on their heart side, there is a semi-colon, but with a heart as the period. And then a butterfly wing, shaped as flowers, that blooming onto the right side of the piece. There is a very specific reason that the wing is only on one side, and it symbolizes the necklace charm that we both share, we both share one half of a heart. I still wear my half to this day.
This heart semi-colon with the butterfly wing, is actually a logo and symbol, I sign mostly on almost everything now. It's also this project's logo.
The semi-colon rose in its symbolism due to a non-profit organization called Project Semi-Colon, you can see explore information on their website here! The gist of it is that is a symbol for mental health, for anyone who's struggled and is struggling that they have decided to continue on, to take their story in a different direction. That the story wasn't over yet.
On top of this symbolism, I chose a heart, to remember to love always, as my best friend used to say love you always, and then the comma has a dual meaning, to pause and also in music, it acts as a breath mark.
So all in all, when I think of the logo, it really means, love and breath, and the butterfly wing, I kind of take it in different ways. The butterfly is known to be a symbol of transformation, change, but also is another mental health awareness symbol for self-harm. The way I see the butterfly, and also in the digital drawing that I did, is to keep on blooming and keep on flying.
So with this, I kind of want to build off of what this logo means with a reflection prompt.
I invite you to take a moment and reflect:
In what areas of your life, or spaces, can you breathe in a little more love to pause, tend a little more and bloom in?
or simply put:
what kinds of spaces, do you want to love more, breathe more and bloom more in?
A little recap of all my current songs in poem form, with a wish and hope that we all find the healing, happiness, and everything we need, one step at a time.
To love, breathe and bloom when you've found yourself tangled As we all try to build a space to remind ourselves and be hopeful that everything will be okay
So my dear reader, thank you for holding a space with me.
For whatever you carry with you, whatever version of a butterfly,
this is my soft reminder that
As we continue into this new year, I have yet to set my full intentions, but I do have a word of year, which you learn more about here.
This feel blog will have a second part, if anyone wants to creative journal with me, please join me over here ~~~ I didn't want to make this any longer >-<
take care always <3
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